Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're welcome!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats wrong with that Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops