Why did the dog eat poop?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats a dick a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

shammmm is a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +15

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So. The gays. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops