Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Do you play piano? No

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knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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