why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Penis

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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pickle sniffer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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