You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

WHAT????

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My daughter is dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops