Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Chinese drivers.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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toast points

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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