Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

Cripples are lame.

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...