What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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