Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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