What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

k

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Find the M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops