knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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