There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

you first

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

canaan and mallory

what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

Obama

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

How long is a china man?

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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