What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops