What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops