Hey Shea

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Bloody kids ...

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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fruit salad?

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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She said no

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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