A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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