Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Women's rights

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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One time I masturbated by myself

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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