A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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"33"

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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