A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops