guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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