(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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