do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -4

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops