What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

racism...deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ow

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops