How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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I have aids

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Knock Knock.. Who's There? Boo.. Boo Who? Book...

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

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This one sucks!

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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