Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops