Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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A homosexual walks into a church

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops