- Anti Joke

Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

what smells worse then shit Drew White

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

tight butthole 4 lyfe.

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

Yes!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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