How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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whats 69+2? 71

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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Which is longer? A rope...

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Knock knock What?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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