What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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lol

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops