JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and has wheels? a green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops