A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

i like turtals and kids

what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

do you want to hear a joke?

How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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