Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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