(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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Women's rights.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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