what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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