Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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47

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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