Pineapple.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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knock knock get lost!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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