What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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