What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

WNBA

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

fack me in the ace! CC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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