Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

falling didnt make the difference

What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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