What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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