Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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