- Anti Joke

How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

Republicans

I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

Guess What! HI!

A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

WHAT????

What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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