Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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bees knees

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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penis

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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weston cage

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Bob dole

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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