Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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