If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

Do you like your life? No. OK.

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

Compton

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

69

How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...