Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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