Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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John Stamos.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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