What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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your going to die

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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