"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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AIDS

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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