whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +36

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +34

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

24

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There's a car about to hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops