A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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nba live 13

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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