Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Dylan is a person

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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